There we were, all seven of us, discussing the salient points of G. K. Chesterton’s The Everlasting Man—the distinctions between mythology and philosophy, or the motivation of a soldier during war, or how strange the life of Christ must have appeared to an outside observer.

The following screenshots prove that I am awesomeness. You’ll have to trust me on that one. Bonus factoid: I didn’t use Reverse against the heavies.

You may remember that during a recent foot-ball match on television Denny’s advertised free food if you showed up at one of their locations the following Tuesday. A few friends and I took them up on this fine offer but assumed a perfunctory wait in line was all but certain.

I have gradually realized that the act of high fiving depends heavily on the use of proper angles. If you initiate a high five, be sure to angle your hand such that the reactor is not forced to arch his wrist uncomfortably in order to avoid the undesirable scenario of an E.T.-like finger touch.

So the time has come to get the résumé in order and prepare for what will surely be a move to someplace random. The prospects are exciting, but in light of recent undertakings I may find myself far from those I care about most.

I am writing something. Yes, I plan to make it the most boring thing ever written. I go to the store. A car is parked. Many cars are parked or moving. Some are blue. Some are tan. They have windows.

I have never been the biggest fan of John McCain’s, though I still planned on voting for him this November.

So I needed to take a drive to clear my head, and I chose a good night to do it. An electrical storm was in the works, causing the sky to change from a shroud of darkness to an incredible array of massive clouds backlit by the lightning behind them.

Man loses. At least this man does. Why is nature, this allegedly impersonal force, out to get me? You be the judge. Last weekend a group of friends and I decided upon the harmless measure of going hiking in the Smokies.

Why is it that every time I accidentally splash water, it all flies directly into my crotch area? It is perturbing. Excuse me if I want to be sanitary and wash my hands or clean a dirty dish.